The Jon Snow/Peter Parker Conspiracy (I mean theory)

Jon Snow Peter Parker Conspiracy ( I mean Theory)
So there are a million theories, but by now you’ve all realized Jon Snow is basically medeival Peter Parker.
Uncle Ben(jen)? Check.
Super Powers? You Betcha.
(un)Dead? Are you kidding me?
(Goblin) enemy everyone kind of sort of likes? Mmmmmhmmmmmmmmm. Starting to sound familiar?

Let’s start with Uncle Ben(jen.) A pesky, troublesome old unlce with no kids of his own, god-damn another one of these self-righteous “guides” to life. You know, the kind that pretend to do everything for the greater good but really fuck you over bad. These assholes leave their protagonist high and dry, can’t communicate might as well be (un)dead motherfuckers. Confirmed.

uncle bens

Moving on…
Super Powers.

peter and jon

Peter has a huge crush on (in)famous redhead, Mary-Jane Watson. Jon Snow has a major crush on (in)famous Ygritte. Both relationships are going nowhere. One is dead, the other franchise has been discontinued. Convinced yet? Oh right, Powers. Jon Snow brought back from dead, loves animals and the down-trodden. Sacrifices self for the greater good. Peter Parker bit by spider, has mean landlord (just like Jon Snow except doesn’t hang his) and gives up secret identity time and time again. I’m kind of sick of it, personally.
The moment you sick fucks have all been waiting for: The (Goblin) Enemy.


You’ve seen the Night King’s ears, fuck off

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